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Friday, January 7, 2011

Follow Friday

I knew when I made the decision to start a weekly "Follow Friday" entry -- featuring fellow blogger entries that resonated with me -- that I would find myself in a bind. Too many of you are fantastic writers and so eloquently describe the various emotional stages you're experiencing. 


So, I'm not going to limit myself (or you, dear readers) to just one entry. I'm going to feature as many as I'd like. I will attempt to summarize the entries and share some of my favorite quotes/passages. 


After that, my hope is that you link back, read the full entries and comment. 


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Jess at "A little blog about the big Infertility"-- "Sharing":


After TTC for the last 5 years, Jess and her husband have decided to pursue embryo adoption. With this decision, she has written a beautiful letter to her loved about about the decision, in which she highlights her hopes, the complexities of their decision, and addresses head the pain of infertility, but that in the end they are resolute and hopeful.


"Be sad with us and be happy with us, but don't pity us. [...] We do get sad sometimes, but there is always joy in our lives. [...]  The road to our inner peace will be paved with or without children, but I do believe they are on their way -- eventually."


Jessica at "Waiting for a baby bump" -- "Separated from the wolf pack":


In this entry, she talks about feeling left behind, specifically by her friends who have moved on to motherhood, and how those friends are still supporting one another through teething and breastfeeding issues, while not taking the time to acknowledge Jessica's pain. I think this post, poignantly written, will hit home with so many of you. 



"They've had their babies, they are mommies and I am not part of the mommy club. I feel like I am in Jr. High all over again and it makes me want to puke. I am wiser (a little wiser), older (much older) and less likely to get my feathers ruffled by stupid comments about IF, but the ignoring, I can't take it anymore. I know, I know, they probably don't know what to say, or don't want to bring it up or talk about their kids for fear upsetting me... nice and thoughtful they all must be, but I don't think so. I really think that I have been forgotten. In fact I know that I have been forgotten. I am the odd-woman out and the fact that most of them, whom I have known for over 20 years, have no idea how to relate to the woman who can't get her ass over the infertility fence before their kids go off to college."




Sloper at "Park Slope Purgatory" --  "Unblocked; or things I didn't accomplish before I turned 30":


Sloper, like many of us, made of list of things she wanted to accomplish by the time she turned 30. Some milestones seem so far away until you turn the corner and realize you've only checked off a few (at best) of those items from your list. Sloper's list included having a baby, which she's undergoing treatment for, and getting published. She has found a new drive to pursue this dream. Like so many of us, along with the death of hope, infertility robs us of our aspirations. I applaud Sloper for focusing back on herself and her dreams, and not letting IF take everything away from her. 


"And yesterday, for the first time in ever, I thought to myself that maybe it would be okay if I couldn't have a baby soon. Maybe I still have other dreams I can pursue. Maybe I'm still young enough not to throw in the towel on everything. [...] I want to fight for it. I have the will to win at something again and the need that's maybe strong enough to overcome the fear."



3 comments:

Baby bump bound said...

Awesome idea! Thanks for adding me to your "Follow Friday" list.

I love your blog - it's filled with beautiful intention and I always feel warm and cozy when I visit.

You are an awesome support and I am grateful to have you "out there."
xo

marilyn said...

thank you for this....there is nothing like a great blog post...this truly is a great blogger. I can relate in such a sad way of being left behind. So many times through my life..I have been overwhelmed with great sadness and emotion..it is so helpful when someone can articulate it..it is very validating. This is better than therapy..and it is free!!! ahhh! I love blogging...

Secret Sloper said...

Thanks for the nod! I should have known this community would be so supportive of my non-baby hopes. I'm very glad to have my blogging outlet and so happy when something I write resonates with a reader.

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