Feminist Views on ART, Surrogacy, Egg Donation and Adoption

C. over at The Infertility Revolutionary brought this fascinating issue of The Scholar & Feminist online, a webjournal published by the Barnard Center for Research on Women, titled "Critical Conceptions: Technology, Justice and the Global Reproductive Market."

The webjournal is comprised of lectures, documentary excerpts and papers presented during a series of conferences dedicated to discussing the new world of reproductive technology from a feminist point of view.

I have had the opportunity to read through most of the material and have found them all fascinating. There are important questions that are being discussed here, some of which I found potentially controversial and others central to our personal debates on these relevant issues.

The topics covered are the "baby making business," the legal aspects of infertility coverage, egg donation and surrogacy in India, the identity implications of donations for the offsprings, our societal portrayal of surrogates and the global "trade" of today's adoption process.

I encourage you to read some it when you find a little time. I'd be happy to discuss any specific articles that you would like.

A Case Against Infertility Treatments

One of the things I love most about this brave new world of blogging is that I get to read some truly diverse points of view on everything from what makes the perfect chocolate souffle to what the future holds in the land of international politics. So, when I came across this blog entry I felt compelled to share it with all of you. Now, I must warn you that it may stir some violent reactions when you read it (Keep that mug away from your computer. I wouldn't want you to throw it into your screen and then you can't read my blog anymore. Sniff!) but keep reading -- and of course, share your thoughts with me, I know you'll have many.

Writer and comedian Jessi Klein just turned 35. And in the land of (in)fertility we know what that means. During her most recent visit to her gynecologist, she was confronted with the idea of freezing her eggs. You see, Jessi isn't in a committed relationship, and a baby isn't in her plans at this time. In her latest blog entry on The Daily Beast, Jessi makes her case against seeking infertility treatments. For one, making her body do something it doesn't want to do seems wrong to her, plus she hates needles. Second, the cost of treatments could be better used for other things. Third, as she enters this new milestone of 35, Jessi has decided that she will never be "desperate" enough for anything. That she will take life as it comes, with or without a baby. And should she want a baby some day, then she'll pursue adoption.

Jessi concludes, "If I have one wish for this birthday, is that 35 is the end of desperation and the beginning of acceptance." Well that's very nicely said. But if with age comes wisdom, I'm not sure that Jessi has truly attained that level of maturity and wisdom just yet. You see, she claims that she knows "plenty of women in their late thirties and early forties who are having happy, healthy, gnocchi-tushed babies." I'm afraid Jessi's friendships must not be deep and meaningful ones, because I have a sneaking suspicion that most or at least some of her older-mommy friends must have struggled with IF, but probably never told her. I guess I can't blame Jessi for not being educated since many women fall for the illusion that we can have babies easily at any age (Are you up to date with your People Mag subscription?!). In fact, recently, Giuliana Rancic -- TV host on E! who interviews celebs -- appeared on "The View" and talked about how "duped" she felt by the celebrities she's interviewed, who were having babies at a later age and making it seem as easy as apple pie. Of course, us infertiles know better. We've learned our lesson (so has Giuliana, by the way). It's not that easy; not even close.

In her same theme of acceptance, Jessi doesn't want to force her body to do something it doesn't want to do. If only infertility were that simple. Should Jessi ever change her mind and actually want a biological offspring, I sure hope she has her next boyfriend's sperm tested or doesn't get too upset over recurring miscarriages. Or maybe she'll just chalk it up to, "it just wasn't meant to be." You know, since she's not the desperate kind and all.

Jessi does leave a window open for motherhood someday (although, I think it's a bad idea in her case): "And if I still want a baby, I'll try to adopt. Which doesn't seem like a very bad way to go at all." Ahhh, the old, "why don't you just adopt?!" I love that one, don't you? I don't think we're all vain-crazies who only want a child that is biologically ours because we think we're just that special. We simply want to be parents and some of us have actually explored adoption (I did). If and when Jessi does someday decide to pursue adoption, she's in for a big surprise: the waiting, the disappointment, and then more waiting, oh and of course the thousands of dollars spent (which apparently could be spent on better things).

In truth, Jessi probably isn't meant to be a mother. And if she can be honest with herself, I'll applaud her for that. I see way too many women who think they want children only to appoint a full-time nanny to rear their kids while they get their nails done. Jessi -- and apparently, Oprah -- not only doesn't understand why we would subject ourselves to the physical and mental beating of infertility treatments, but finds it rather "annoying." I wish her new found self-aceptance would develop into an acceptance of others. Maybe next year.

So, happy birthday Jessi... You still have much to learn. I look forward to the day when you realize that maybe you should have listened to your gyno or at least taken the time to know us, "desperate" women (and men).