Saturday, April 24, 2010


There is nothing that will kill your sex-life faster than sex-on-demand. Once the fun of the first few months of trying wear-off, you will quickly find yourself in the land of sex-on-demand.

Taking charge of your fertility also means that you are now timing your ovulation and you want to have sex at the right times, on the right days. You are on a mission. You're not messing around anymore. And while your partner may happily oblige initially (what man turns down sex?), he will soon surprise you by saying he has a headache. What?! Yup, the roles are now reversed: you want sex (well, admit it, you really just want to get pregnant) and he is starting to feel used (which, I guess he is. Shhh...) and pressured. 

While you might try to let it go once and try to spice things up the next time, it's very likely that you will start to resent your partner for not "contributing." I certainly did and it showed. I slowly became withdrawn and passive-aggressive, which made DH less interested in sex and me even more resentful. And there you have it, the vicious-cycle of sex-on-demand. Faint cracks start to show in your marriage and this is only the beginning... It won't always be that way, but some couples decide to go their separate ways, unable to handle the pressure of infertility. You will read in later posts what we went through and how we came out on the other side of it, stronger. 


Keya said...

After the first few months, we did get into this pattern. I'd try to BD around ovulation, hubby wouldn't oblige, and I'd end up getting upset and crying. Who wants to have sex with a tear streaked wife?
Things are better now because I've sort of given up. I don't try as hard, and hubby now seems to know its close to ovulation. Unfortunately, "just relax" hasn't worked for us yet.

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